Finding My Passion

One of the things I have always struggled with was coming up with an answer when someone would ask “What is you passion?” or “What are you passionate about”.  Had they not been referring to my dream career I would have had plenty of answers.  I have a passion for making people happy (although many see this as a weakness).  I have a passion for learning (I feel like one should never stop seeking answers, regardless of the question).  I have a passion to help animals (yes, I have a leash in my car and have stopped and used it a number of times.)  I have a passion for being immersed in nature (In the middle of the woods, on the warm sand of a beach, beside a peaceful lake in the mountains, regardless of the location, I feel such a sense of calmness and peace).


Unfortunately, if I were to give one of these answers I am looked at like I have three heads.  Can I be the only one whose passion did not involve a paycheck?   Am I alone in not knowing what I want to be when I grow up when the definition of be revolved around a profession?  I am learned an automatic response of I don’t know or  I don’t really have one to avoid the three-headed look.  The truth is, I have always known what I was passionate about, what my dream job was.  I want to be a mother.   For some reason there was always a subtle message that this answer was incorrect.  “I mean besides a mom, what do you really want to be?”  I couldn’t understand why there was ever a need for a follow-up question.  In life, some people dream of presenting in a boardroom, directing a large firm, even owning their own business.  Others dream of becoming teachers, law enforcement officials, marketing exec or lawyer to name a few. Were these people ever asked “I mean besides a [______], what do you really want to be?”  While others dream of directing a marketing team or becoming a firm partner, I dream of reading to my kids before they fall asleep at night.  I dream of coaching their mini-kickers team, helping with their homework, teaching them to bake cookies on a rainy day.

As I sit here now at the age 30, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I still hope for the same dream job I had wanted when I was in high school and college.   I cannot wait for the day I get to choke back tears as I share with my husband that we are pregnant (we are not, for those who may be wondering).

Speaking earlier of my love for learning, a few months ago I began an Aesthetics program at a local school and I love it.  I am finding that the course is coming naturally to me and I am really enjoying the connection we make with our clients.  I look forward to going to class each day (even if the course is not exactly what I was hoping for, although more on that another time).  During my free time I find myself reading ahead in the textbook and searching for more in-depth answers instead of turning on the tv or reading something for leisure (I promise I will have the book finished for bookclub ladies!).  I often have to remind myself that not everyone wants to hear about all the details of what I am learning while out with friends, even though I am enjoying this so much I love to talk about it.  I am also excited to eventually join a team of wonderful woman whom I will continue to learn from, as well as attend several postgrad classes I have already looked into.  Even with all this being said, and as exciting as this part of my life is, I still feel a slight internal pinch when someone exclaims, “I am so glad you have found your passion.”

I did not need to find my passion. It was never lost.  I am simply enjoying the journey of life one step at a time, knowing that when the time is right, I will welcome the gift.



passion calling

If only I had words

Wow.  I cannot believe how long it has been since I last sat down and wrote; I feel as though I have neglected a friendship.  There have been so many changes in my life since then.   Like an old friend who has lost touch, I’m hoping I can jump right in and it will feel like no time has passed at all.   I look forward to sitting down over a welcoming cup of coffee and sharing the details that have played out over the last few months.  There will be laughs as I reminisce about the good times, there will be tears as I work my way through the bad.  There are friends who have grown closer and I am thankful for every day, and there are friends who have drifted away.  I have met new challenges and welcomed the opportunity to learn something new.  I have grown as I accepted that some challenges I am not ready to yet take on.  I have struggled when reaching out for help, and I have accepted when to say goodbye.  I have lived.  I have learned. 

I am learning to live.