In the last year, I have spent a great deal of time getting to know myself. I mean really know myself. I have come to see my strengths and my faults; I have learned what it means to have a solid support system around you; I have learned what it means to let go and have faith; I have learned what it feels like to be in a room full of people and feel loved instead of alone. I am no where near finished with my journey, but I have certainly come a long way. I have found my own voice in difficult situations. I have been open and honest about my feelings and concerns. I have allowed myself to be vulnerable and afraid, and I have allowed myself to ask for help.
While I stumble along my journey of self-discovery, I have realized I spend far too much time and energy worrying about things that do not really matter, and not enough time and energy on the people and things in life that do. I am embarrassed to admit, I have let other voices sway my opinions and alter my actions. I have not stayed true to my own thoughts and feelings, and as such – I have not stayed true to myself. It is time I forgive myself and move forward.
At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I have come to realize that we all have that friend who is the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing. With a sorrow in our voice, we tell ourselves it is time to move on. It is time to let go of the false prophet and the illusion which has been created. It is time to take the energy once spent on this wolf and spread it amongst your fellow sheep. It is time for a new beginning.
As I look around I see so many people who I am thankful to have as part of my life. I do not remember the last time I felt so blessed to have such a great network of family and friends surround me. A year ago I dreaded turning 30, although as I now approach my 31st birthday I realize that I am exactly where I always wanted be in life. I am surrounded by friends and family who love me and a new sense of faith that allows me to love myself, faults and all.
“We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives
It’s time for us to more than just survive
We were made to thrive“
Casting Crowns – “Thrive”