A Heavy Heart

Buddha

My heart is heavy tonight. We have been waiting 7 weeks for results from our anora test through Natera for both of our miscarriages (we were originally told results in 1-2 weeks). One of the reasons we have been delaying our IVF start date was to see our results as our next step will be dependent on the them (to do the PGS/freeze or a fresh cycle).

I found out earlier this afternoon that one of the samples is lost. There’s no explanation yet, and we may not get one, but somewhere between the hospital, the infertility clinic and the lab in CA one of the two samples went missing. I’m at such a loss for words on this. I hate being filled with thoughts of “why me” when I know there are so many things happening in the world far greater than this, but I can’t help myself. I feel like every step of the way if there was an easy path and a challenging path, I have been led down the challenging path. I have faith that there is a reason things have been so trying, and a lesson I am to be learning, but during nights like this it is so difficult to remain positive. At this point, to have a new sample sent to the lab, it would be an additional 6-8 weeks before we get results (this incorporates the two week turnaround time the hospital needs to retrieve the slides and send them to my RE). My heart is heavy and I’m finding it hard to see the silver lining this time.